tomorrow i will be done forever
and im feeling VERY nostalgic
all i want to do is take pictures of everything at york
mainly the things that mattered to me
so basically i want to take pictures of every bathroom at york
that i hid in instead of being social
or going to class
or doing anything
i realized a few days ago when i was there that i know where all the bathroom at york are
and not because i have poor bladder control
so maybe that's what i'll do
that is EXACTLY what i'll do
i'm going to take pictures of every bathroom i've ever lingered in a little too long to be considered normal to avoid having to make eye contact or walk through a crowd or *gasp* actually attempt conversation in a setting that isn't a classroom
im going to take pictures of them all and make a scrap book titled:
"york university: the best years of my life!"
but secretly it will be all about social anxiety
and how a desire to constantly impress everyone
at all times
makes it worse
as does copious amounts of coffee
and i'm going to decorate it with stickers
i've actually wanted to make a scrap book for a long time
but i can never think of anything worth documenting on paper in my life
because facebook is faster
project!!
i'm listening to the weezer tribute album
it makes me think of highschool
and why i never hid in the bathroom there
?
and that makes me concerned for when i am older
will i hide in more bathrooms, more of the time?
cause that's the direction i appear to be headed
i love how i talk about my stupidity as if it is something thats happening to me and entirely out of my control
and not something i could choose to change
i was thinking about partying it up hxc after the last exam tomorrow
and getting super drunk and maybe puking out my anxiety all over the backseat of my car
but then i remember i kind of HATE drinking
and can be an idiot / dance like one, without alcohol
in fact, alcohol doesn't really affect my horrid dancing skills that much
except maybe makes me think im a marginally better one
i wish i had more to say but ive been locked in my room for the past two weeks because i feel too guilty going out instead of staying home learning about how Freud thinks that guilt is the reason we can't ever be truly happy and kids want to fuck their mothers
thats another thing ive wanted to complain about for a while but keep forgetting to
take a second to process that last sentence. i have to remind myself of things that i need to complain about.
i have to learn primarily about old men who lived a long long fucking time ago
and what they think about the world
at least this year anyways because i decided to take a lot of philosophy classes for some reason even though i almost flunked out of school when my major was philosophy
who am i kidding i almost flunked out when my major was business too
i've had three different majors in five years
point:
all these old dead men had a affinity for fucking little boys
and no one would listen to pedophiles thoughts today
and so i feel kind of angry that i have to hear what these guys think now
because all i can think about is the kids they butt fucked
on that happy note:
picture(s) of the day:
