i fell into yesterday

so i finished my brutal essay

and because it pretty much consumed my life for a few days

i did something really beyond stalker

i facebook googled (searched for someone on facebook) my T.A.!

and i found his public profile

creepy to the max i know

but i found it VERY amusing

you know you assume your t.a's have lives outside of the classroom?

well mine does, it just revolves around old philosophers

he had pictures of Hegel in his albums

i find this very very funny

so i showed my friends in my class

they laughed a lot

but i know they secretly think i'm insane

and i can't really blame them

i decided to download a bunch of old AFI songs

i don't know what's with me wanting to all of a sudden be 15 again

i think its like, when you do something thats really really shitty

and then after a long time it seems like you kind of forget the bad parts

(i think forgetting bad things is a natural defense our minds have)

and then all you remember is that maybe it was cool

and sometimes it seems like, super cool

i think that's what is happening here

like, i think i liked being 15 because my brain has actually erased everything almost (because it was almost all bad) and just left me with good things

it took my brain 8 years to do this, so really, it must have been pretty bad

but all i want is to be 15 again

and so all i can do is listen to music i liked when i was 15

all the lyrics make so much more SENSE now

now that im not trying to manipulate them into meaning some crazy shit about not eating and maybe cutting

i wish i could be 15 again knowing what i know now

being a 23 year old in a 15 year olds life

god damn i cant even imagine how i'll feel when im 30

kelli, i know you want to be 15 again too, any theories why we liked that age so much?

what am i going to do this summer.

quote of the day (new addition to blog):

"we cross our bridges when we come to them

and burn them behind us

with nothing to show for our progress

except a memory of the smell of smoke

and a presumption that once our eyes watered."

-tom stoppard

picture of the day:

-piece 4 in 'food i like that is junk food' series: 'Secret Weapon' -